If Grace Is An Ocean, We're All Sinking

Hello Dear Friends and Family! 

I am so blessed to be able to share my heart and recent events with you. Email and blogs makes it a great era to be a missionary!  

God is good! His grace is as vast as the ocean!

With each passing month, I find myself more and more endeared to this warm land. As I peddle my bike through the city of Siem Reap each day, the frowns and squinting faces used to follow me with curious eyes.  I decided to make the most of it by smiling as big as I can and saying, "Prey Ong protian bpoh!” (God bless you!) as I glide past them.  Frowns turn upside down, and squinty eyes grow wider with joy! Now I thoroughly enjoy my bike ride back and forth. The regulars and familiar faces are almost as eager to greet me as I am to greet them each time.  I pray that the Holy Spirit would go with me and flood these streets and roads with His presence. 

This past month has been so incredible! Each of my students aced their midterms! Yay! :D They are so brilliant and eager to learn the English language.  I have had the opportunity to spend some quality time with a few of my students, going to the markets or just sitting and talking, listening to their stories and praying for them.  All of the teachers put together a HUGE Love Feast. We decorated the class rooms, made dinner, served our students, and some teachers prepared special music numbers. The theme was God's Overwhelming, Unconditional Love. We were all invited to join the Kings table, and glorify Papa by loving one another.  

What an intense evening!  We had 107 boxes of food, and there were 106 students.  Our room was pretty small as well, made for maybe 55 people. We only had about two working fans. But NONE of that seemed to matter! :) As crazy as it was at times, I personally was extremely excited about the whole evening! I was very excited to see how Papa was going to move through the hearts of our students. I was so anxiously excited to serve each student, smile and laugh, pray for and encourage them.  God is moving over here in this small kingdom!  Please continue to pray for our students to remain faithful in coming to class and Wednesday Fellowship!  Pray that God would continue to speak to each student and bring them closer to His heart. 

Pray that the spiritual chains of bondage that are holding these kids back, would be broken by the blood of the Lamb, in the name of Jesus Christ!

My language lessons this past month have been quite frustrating. Sometimes, I feel like I am hitting a wall….. please pray for a breakthrough! 

Here in Cambodia, this whole week is the Water Festival. It’s a time for the people to give thanks for the rice harvest by worshiping the moon and the water. They have huge boat races for the next few days and offer a lot of gifts to the spirits. We don't have school at all this week, mostly because all of our students are gone back to their home villages to be with their families and celebrate traditions.  This is a really strong time of spiritual warfare and we are all praying for the Holy Spirit to be victorious in the hearts of the Khmer people during this time. And that they would come to know and worship the God who created the water and the moon for HIS glory.

Please keep me in your prayers. There have been a few uncomfortable situations with the base leadership this month. There are days when I struggle to forgive.

During my prayer times, Papa spoke to me through His Word. And He gave me clear understanding of how an unforgiving heart will lead to a lot of other things, including a heart of bitterness. He also brought to light MANY times when He had allowed me to dive into His ocean of grace, soaking in His sweet forgiveness.  

I am so thankful that Papa doesn't forgive like I do.  Lacking joy or dare I admit it, not at all. I am so humbled and deeply thankful that when He was staggering through the city of Jerusalem, the sin of the world on His shoulders, that He never once said in His heart, "I wish that this was you instead of me. You deserve this, not me." And that He didn't harbor hateful thoughts towards me for my portion of sin that he was carrying.   I am deeply humbled.  I am forgiven. 

I do not deserve His Grace Gift, but I am not too proud to snatch it out of His hands when He offers it, and devour it in His presence. 

        It reminded me of a time when I was in town about two weeks ago.  A man offered me a gospel track in the city. I looked at it, smiled, and waving my hand over it said, "Thanks but I don't need it. I already know Jesus."  

  I thought I was being polite and helping that man to save paper by giving the track to someone who may not have a Bible already. But actually, when I looked deeper, Papa showed me that situation tied into my arrogant lack of grace.  Why not just encourage that man by accepting the tract and rejoicing together in our shared faith?   

 I will eagerly receive a gospel track next time. If anything, its a great reminder, and then I have it to share with someone else.  

This Is Amazing Grace by Bethel Live

How He Loves by David Crowder

-John 1:16 "Out of his fullness we have all received grace…"

-Ephesians 2:8 "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God."

-Ephesians 3:7 "I became a servant of this gospel by the gift of God’s grace given me through the working of his power."

Please continue to remember me in your prayers! 

Pray that I would stay healthy!

Pray that Papa would bless me with a close friend here! 

Pray that God would continue to help me learn this language!

And please also pray that Gods grace and love would shine bright in this dark place.

I miss all of you so much. Joy, humility, passion and deep euphoria fill my soul when I remember your support and prayers. I thank Papa for you daily!

Stay strong!  Keep up the good flight!

Love Always,

Beth Dittman

Small Beginnings

Greetings Friends and Family from the kingdom of Cambodia:

It has been a month and a half since my arrival and I believe I am nearly adjusted. 

Thank you for your faithful prayers and support! 

I rejoice each day for where I am during this season of my life. It has been so great to be back here, teaching, learning the language, spending time with my old students, and mostly just being a part of God's plan for Cambodia. 

(pics of my arrival)

My body is pretty well adjusted to the heat. Unfortunately, it is having a hard time producing enough blood to keep up with the mosquitos ;) I think my stomach is almost adjusted to Khmer (Cambodian) food. PRAISE THE LORD!! It's been a rough month in that area. I went for my first run the other day!!! Let me tell you, it was only fifteen minutes, but I almost called a moto driver to take me back home. I've never been so flamingly overheated in my life!!! I plan on continuing these running endeavors at least every other day.
Prayers are really appreciated!

The rain comes in bucket loads almost daily, bringing flashes of lighting and booming thunder with it. It’s not like Oregon rain, and I have to remember that I am no longer surrounded by Oregonians.  When it rains here nearly everything stops. People run for cover and wait. My students stay home, and I get weird looks when I throw on a hoodie and march on down the muddy road.

(monsoon on a Sunday)

I just finished my third week of teaching! The past five days have been a little scary, and a tiny bit stressful,but overall very fulfilling and quite an adventure.

I have about 10 students in each class with an age range of 12-22, and all of them are brilliant! My first class is a reading class, and none of my students speak English so giving instructions and explaining things is awesome and VERY tricky! I am praising the Lord for being bigger than language barriers! Ha ha

(These are some pictures of my students studying prefixes during class.)

Already one of my students is asking about God and she is hungry to know more about Him. Sadly, she is too afraid to take a step toward salvation because she knows her family will kick her out of the house. She is only sixteen-years-old.

Please pray for her and God’s plan in her life.

This next weekend is a Khmer holiday called Puchum Ben, and so all of Cambodia is preparing to celebrate. Starting on Saturday everyone will go to their home village and worship their false gods at the pagodas, offering food, money, and prayers. Most of my students will be joining their family for the holiday, and it just makes me pray for them more earnestly! I want them to know the True God actually hears their prayers.
One of my students named Luke (pronounced Luka) is a solid believer in Jesus Christ, and he is bold in sharing his faith.  He invited me to go to a gathering at his church during the pagan holiday. We are going to spend most of the time in prayer for the rest of our class. I praise God for blessing me with my student Luke! Keep him in your prayers.

If you would also pray for our base to receive more staff that would be a HUGE blessing. We are pretty shorthanded around here.

Please pray for me to stay strong and not get too overwhelmed with homesickness.

I miss all of you so much. Joy, humility, passion and deep euphoria fill my soul when I remember your support and prayers. I thank Papa for you daily!

Stay strong!  Keep up the good flight!

Love Always,

Beth Dittman

Good JuJu

20 years ago I was born, but that is beside the point.

Incase you don't know me well, I cook...a lot. This year for my birthday I made Vietnamese Spring Rolls, vegetarian for me, and bbq pork for my family, and fried rice.   Like they hopefully say it in Vietnam, 'Thưởng thức'  


We finished off the evening with my wonderful family all sitting around and watching George of the Jungle, you know, with Brendan Fraser. My Absolute Favorite Movie Ever Made. Period. Hands Down.  

One thing I've come to realize just in the past 20 years is, 

today is an ordinary day. 

The Lord made this day, like the rest of days.  Today 20 years ago, He took a new lump of clay, and slammed it on His pottery wheel. Been sculpting me ever since.   


December 20th is always a good day, but ordinary. 


Thank you all for loving me unconditionally. 
And You up there, Lord, thank you for this day. Thank you for walking with me every step of this road. You are my Co-Pilot. 






Carpe Diem. 

Dear Baby Jesus.....and Charlie Brown....

Soft flames are reaching beside me, toasting my the blanket that is curled around my body.  A smooth creamy caffeinated drink is by my side, smiling as it were.  Oh! Also, my dear friend, the gingerbread house watches as I write about him. I guess Charlie Brown said it best,

"Christmas time is here
Happiness and cheer
Fun for all that children call
Their favorite time of the year

Snowflakes in the air
Carols everywhere
Olden times and ancient rhymes
Of love and dreams to share

Sleigh bells in the air
Beauty everywhere
Yuletide by the fireside
And joyful memories there

Christmas time is here
We'll be drawing near
Oh, that we could always see
Such spirit through the year
Oh, that we could always see
Such spirit through the year..."

This is the only season that I turn on the radio. I do not want to miss out on Christmas music, old and new. 

But besides all of this holiday bliss, something inside me stirs. 

Simplicity maybe? 

                                                                             Gentleness perhaps? 

                                                          Love?

All three I believe. 

What my heart really feels around this time, is the birth announcement of a wee babe. A simple yet courageous and beautiful boy. The Bible doesn't say that Jesus was a beautiful or handsome baby, in fact Isaiah said, "For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, 

      and as a root out of dry ground. 

      He has no form or comeliness; 

      and when we see him, 

      there is no beauty that we should desire him." See. Not beautiful or handsome. A simple baby.

But for me, just him once being here, is a beautiful thought. 

When I was a little girl, every year around December, I could feel Christmas coming. You know what I'm taking about. When you were young, you could really feel Christmas. In your nose, heart, in the very depth of your bones you could feel it. Christmas has these funny sweet smells, tastes and joyous sounds and captivating sights that make you want to smile and laugh all the time, just out of pure jolliness. (new word) 

At about age 12, I could start to feel a difference. Christmas was getting harder to feel.   

Then, one December, it happened..... when I was 14, I glumly told my aunt , "It's really really hard for me to feel Christmas this year." Her "encouraging" response was,  "Yep, that's right kiddo. And it will only get worse." 

Honestly, I wanted to cry. Christmas is the best feeling ever, how could I go the rest of my life without it?

Well, here I am, almost 20 and that old Christmas feeling is completely gone. Or is it? 

That old feeling has been replaced. Replaced with wonderful new feelings. 

Gentleness,

                                                                 Simplicity.....

                                                                  and Love.

My new Christmas feelings come when I think of a little dark skinned baby boy. So gentle. So simple. So much love wrapped into one little baby bundle. These feelings come rushing inside me like a warm cup of hot coco .  I just wish sometimes that I could have been there that night. I just wish that I could have held him in my arms on that night the angels sang from the heavens.  To hold Jesus in my arms...wow... :)  I am just so in love with him.

 He is my Beloved, and I am His. 

(but that is for another Blog Time With Beth.) 

When I really think about it, I enjoy this new Christmas feel much more. It's not based on smells and tastes and sounds and sights that come along with a season.  It is eternal, and it's much stronger than my childhood feelings.  I can still feel Christmas with Gentleness, Simplicity, Love, and the occasional Charlie Brown Christmas carol. 

So, I guess Charlie Brown did sing it right, "Hark the herald angels sing

"Glory to the newborn King!
Peace on earth and mercy mild
God and sinners reconciled"
Joyful, all ye nations rise
Join the triumph of the skies
With the angelic host proclaim:
"Christ is born in Bethlehem"
Hark! The herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!"

Christ by highest heav'n adored
Christ the everlasting Lord!
Late in time behold Him come
Offspring of a Virgin's womb
Veiled in flesh the Godhead see
Hail the incarnate Deity
Pleased as man with man to dwell
Jesus, our Emmanuel
Hark! The herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!"

Hail the heav'n-born Prince of Peace!
Hail the Son of Righteousness!
Light and life to all He brings
Ris'n with healing in His wings
Mild He lays His glory by
Born that man no more may die
Born to raise the sons of earth
Born to give them second birth
Hark! The herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!"

Feasting On This Mana. One Day At A Time.

One day at a time....


Because the Israelites ignored God, and listened to their own fear, they were kept in the desert. Trapped there to just survive. And God provided for them, every day. Even though they turned their backs on Him over, and over, and over, for the whole 40 years that they were there. 


Manna..... is a sweet bread of sorts.  It's the food that God dropped from the sky, every day for the Israelites to eat during their time in the dry heat and sand. He faithfully let it(manna) rain from the sky daily. 
Like worry warts though, the Israelites would gather as much manna as they could hold, to keep for the days to come. You see, they worried that God might not give them food for the next days. Such little faith in the One who just rescued them from Egypt....
But over and over again, God shows us just how faithful He is. 


What would it look like if we just ate the manna God gave us today? 
How hard would it be to leave that other manna on the ground, and just know that God will make more fall tomorrow? We don't even need to worry about it.


Ha....worry..... is something I want to live without.  I'm working on it.


Fear....
                  ........... is the opposite of Faith.  
Did you know that my spiritual gift is Faith? Yep, this is truth. So then why do I fear? 


Because I am a sheep. 
Because I sometimes struggle with the knowledge that I am no longer holding the yolk to this plane. 
Because, the enemy knows that fear will wear and tear on my spiritual gift, faith. 

   

These things alone, are needing to be remembered in my life:

God is my Shepherd.

God is my Co-Pilot.

God is so much bigger than my fears.

            God gave me enough manna for today.

That is enough.....                                          

   God is faithful, all the time. He proves it to me daily. Maybe I don't know what tomorrow holds.... but hey :) If I already knew, then where would faith hold its place in my life? 


I know, without a doubt, that We Were Made To Be Fearless. God designed us to be fearless. 


Adam and Eve were fearless for a time.  


                                                               


                     I can feel it in my bones.
                                                              Fearless.
 How can I go on from here? To become fearless starts where? 
                                                        


Well, I can start by raising my eyes to the heavens, and watching manna fall right into today's basket, that is enough...


.......I know that fearless is on my horizon.....

Just watch for that sunrise....

              

Closer Than My Skin

Howdy doo from the P.A. of the AK!! (Port Alsworth Alaska)
Weeeell I obvy haven't blogged in a long while. I have found it so hard to put all of my experiences into story form for you, but I'll give it a shot now.

Four days after I got here, I saw the Lake Clark Monster. For serious. It was about as long as a school bus, and it's body was about the size of a family sized pizza from Figaro's. Also it was super duper fast!! It looked like a giant eel or something. Only two people in the whole history of Port Alsworth has seen it before me, Babe Alsworth (the founder) and his son Glen Sr.  I am the third person ever to see it!! National Geographic even came and did some research on it, but they found nothing.... mysterioussss.....

All of my co-workers are really great.  There are seven guys and five girls including the cook.  Jael is the cook and she is so far my favorite. She is from Montana and she cooks like none other. I am learning as much as I can from her, not just in the kitchen but in life as well.  SHE MAKES THE BEST BLUEBERRY TART EVERRRR!!!! I am bringing the recipe back with me so maybe some of you lucky people will get to try a piece.  She is so encouraging and besides making great banana cream pie, she makes the atmosphere in the lodge bright and enjoyable. 
All of my male co-workers are pretty goofy and sarcastic, but they are Godly men, and they are upbeat and great :]
The Farm girls..... welp, I love them. We get along well enough. These three girls I live with are all sweethearts.

My brother, Josh, is up here with me. Our time together here has been a very good thing for our relationship. We get along so well and I for that I am thankful. We are extremely close, and I can honestly say that he is one of my very best friends right now. We are both changing so much, and it's just so helpful and encouraging that we can grow, together.

It's amazing how easy it is to remain close to God up here. The mountains are just such clear proof of how real, how big, and how deep the Creator is. Lately He has been whispering "Abide in Me" in my ear. 
What does 'abide' really really mean? "Closer than your skin, Beth. I want to be closer to you than your skin.  Remain in Me. Abide in Me."  Yes Jesus. Yes Lord. I am so loved. He just wants to be with me in everything I do, even the simple things like skipping rocks.

I miss my family a lot. But I know I will be with them soon enough. If they are reading this: Hey!  I LOVE you guys!

Keep praying for me. In however you feel lead :]
I will try very hard to keep updating you, and hopfully more often. Thank you so much for keeping up with me. I love you.

Grace to all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with an undying love.

This next one is the view from the cabins that I get to clean everyday :]

Then God Gave Me These To Hold On To.

Picture One: Standing in the sand on the Oregon Coast. Jesus came walking up beside me, and I could see that His strides in the sand were bigger than mine. He scooped up my hand and asked, "Would you be my girl?"  He fills me with more love than anyone ever did, how could I even hesitate?! How could I refuse Him? He leads me by still waters, He comforts me. His love for me has NO bounds.


Picture Two: I saw a marble courtyard, and covering the floor of the courtyard was warm rich blood, about two inches deep. Then people slowly started filling the courtyard, little children curiously reached down and stuck their fingers in the blood, then everyone reached down and washed their hands in it. Before I knew it, Blood was smeared all over their arms, faces, legs, and clothes.
Suddenly, the courtyard was completely empty, but the traces of people were still there.  I then left and went walking through the streets of Jerusalem. The walls and houses were COVERED in smears of the blood. Small hand prints covered everything, the roads had blood on them, the animals, the temples, the jails. I left Jerusalem and came home to Salem Oregon, and it was the same! Blood covered everything, and everybody!! We couldn't get away from it, nor did we want to.

So it is the same with the blood of the Lamb.

(Sometimes, God speaks to me in strange/intense pictures)

Picture Three:  So, Jesus and I were sitting in the grass, on a dark starry night.  There was a warm, comforting bonfire between us.  "Give it to me." He whispered.  I closed my eyes and started to let go, but I felt, like, out of control. I started to hesitate and grabbed for my heart! I wouldn't let go! Immediately, He reached for my hand and held it away from my chest. "Let go child... Give it to me." He smiled.  "I'm trying." I told Him. 
Slowly, we both lowered my hand, and my heart area was exposed. Then Jesus did something I would have never imagined. He slowly reached into my chest, grabbed my heart, and pulled it out. The flames flickered in our faces. We met eyes and I realized that I wasn't breathing. Jesus held my heart in Him big Daddy palm. He steadied and gave me His breath in my lungs. My heart pounded in His hands, beating with all of my dreams, secrets and ideas. He held it so gently, so lovingly. He looked into me, and smiled with so much love, how could I have ever not been moved by Him! I then realized that I was totally naked before my God.


How does God speak to you? What has He been whispering in your ear?