Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

Greetings Dear Friends and Family!

I can't believe Christmas is already here! I hope that you are all enjoying the appropriate music, hot beverages, and jolly company of loved ones around you.     

 There are signs of Christmas here in Cambodia as well.  The other day I saw a Christmas tree made out of yogurt containers and tinsel(which sounded pretty oregonian if you ask me ;] )

No signs of snow yet, but I check my window each morning, just in case.

Technically it is the "Cold Season" here in the kingdom, but with the 88 degree temperature and 49% humidity you wouldn't be able to tell.  It has cooled off tremendously!! I wore a sweater today, for about 30 minutes. I refuse to not wear a sweater at least once in December, no matter where int he world I am.

The term for our little school as Spein Neak has closed. We held a large closing program for our students, and gave them their progress report cards. Boy were they ever anxious to get their report cards! My students did exceptionally well! Each one made massive progress this term. And each is looking forward to expanding their skills in this new opening term. Khmer schools don't have a Christmas break, and neither does our school. The YWAM base however does take Christmas break off. We are very blessed to have a team from France come and take over our classes until our return on January 4.   

This was my first full term of teaching ever, I am blessed beyond words to have this opportunity to teach and learn so much from my students.  They have opened up their homes to me, invited me in with all the love and generosity I could ever ask for.  This country is rich with the kindness of khmer hearts.   (Some pictures from graduation) 

 (My student Dochea- pronounced Do-ch- yeh)

After the term ended, all of the teachers put together small short Discipleship Training Program for students who had shown interest this past term in knowing more about God. We planned skits, stories, lessons, and small group sessions.   

Hallelujah Praise the Lord!!! My student that I am the closest with accepted Christ as her Lord and Savior last week! :) Her name is Reachany (pronounced- Ree-chan-ee), she has been searching for answers and desiring to know more about God for months now. She got a Bible, and is so excited to grow in her relationship with the Lord. I can see the change in her, she really honestly glows with joy and new life.  I have to be careful though, every time we eat together, and I forget to pray for our food, she always reminds me, "ahem teacher…..pray for that first." She is onto me ;)

Reachany and I will be meeting on Saturdays for discipleship and help on her homework.  Please keep Reachany in your prayers!

Starting on the 19th is Christmas break!! I am so excited to rest and spend time in the Word, and praying for the coming season. I will be trekking down south to Phnom Penh, to stay with my non-biological aunt and uncle, Dave and Lisa Everitt. They are the first people I stayed with when I came two years ago.

Funny enough, they are from Portland Oregon. The Christian world is so small!  I will also be spending some time in a village called Prey Chhor in Kampong Cham province with a lovely khmer family.  They pastor a church there, and I got an invite for the Christmas service! (Here are some pictures of my time so far!)

                            (Some of the adults singing Christmas songs)

                                         (The children's Nativity skit)

(Traditional khmer apsara dance. My friend Raksmey is in the green dress on the left.)

    (The demon Christmas turkey and chases you if you don't watch your back.)

There have been some concerning issues with my health the past few weeks.  

I have had stomach problems for the past 14 days. When I went in to the doctor two weeks ago to see what could be wrong, they didn't find anything.  It doesn't seem to matter what I eat, nothing helps so far. 

Last week I was having serious nausea and abdominal pain. The doctor here believes that it is colitis, and gave me an antibiotic, which didn't work. I was so blessed to be able to get in touch with Dr. Julie Gilbert, who recommended the correct meds. 

Unfortunately,  I was too late to catch the colitis before it triggered a serious asthma attack. 

Needless to say,  it has been a mess of trying to find the right meds, and struggling to breathe while doing the simplest of things.  The air pollution, dust and smoke here makes breathing with asthmatic lung more challenging.  

I am praying that I am on the upside of all sickness, but I just don't know yet.  Clinics here are quite frustrating.  It's only money to them. 

It breaks my heart, and makes me 100% more appreciative of my doctor back home.  

Will you please pray with me about all of these things?  Some other expat missionaries here are telling me to get home and stay home. I only want God's will in this situation.

One last thing! I just wanted to say that my birthday was on the 20th!

And wanted all of you to know that the past 23 years of my life would not be the same without you.  When I think of home, my first thoughts are not about evergreens,  the Pacific ocean or even the green forest trails for hiking. No, my first thoughts are of the people who I love so dearly.  I have warm memories with each one of you, and those memories are tucked deep inside my heart.  On the hard days, I pull them out, and dwell in nostalgia to help ease my homesickness.

Thank you for welcoming me in with open arms and loving me with a love that is more than any girl could ask for.

God be with you all, and have yourself a merry little Christmas

With Heart,

Beth

                           (Snowmen DO exist in Cambodia! With my God all things are possible!)

                                                   (Khmer Santa!) 

Tides Of Valediction

     Saying goodbye to your closest people is like ….. saying goodbye to the ocean.
Knowing that nothing, not even the crashing waves can call "stay!" and pull you back out to sea. It's gut wrenching.
Such unnatural vibes. Unnatural tides
"Missing you comes in waves,
and right now I am drowning."
Fighting against the tides is seemingly more unattainable then I ever thought it would be.
Keeping my tides from rolling in everyday is quite litcherally futile. At least that's how it is here.

So on a sad note, I write (maybe more for myself) in search of the potential perk of valediction.

Tim Foreman said, "You can't call it love until you've lost. If you love someone this is what it costs."    Jon Foreman asked the question, "Do you love me enough to let me go?"  I appreciate and contemplate these daily.
Lately there has been a different variation of that question:

"Do you, Beth, love Me, Papa, enough to let them go, and come away with Me?"  
Licherally had no idea the depth that this question held when I said "yes" 4 years ago.
Sometimes saying goodbye is just a painful way of saying "I love You" to Papa. Trusting that His voyages are the right voyages. Even when you get caught in sea storms.

I will never forget that figurative moment, when "I boarded this sailing vessel and let go of everyones hands all at once. I shoved off, my sails filled with the breath of the Holy Spirit, headed towards my True North. Seagulls overhead as I watched everyones faces shrink into the distance, Washington and Oregon faded as we headed toward the setting sun."  Sounds adventurous, right?
To be honest, I never once felt brave or adventurous that day.
Only obedient, minutely hopeful and called. That day my heart broke, for the second time.

The perk to the valediction was that, this time, I deeply, fully understood what I was leaving behind.
Suddenly I was living without the luxury of rolling outta bed in the morning and wandering into the same living room with my crazy, equally as groggy but loving family members.

Going about each day without morning coffee with my mom and sister.

Trekking to find new jams without my dads company.

Having to journal my deepest thoughts without my resting my head against my faithful, spirited and valiant canine friend.

Living without taking the northbound train to visit my dearest nonbiological family in Kingston, WA whenever I wanted.

I was without the evergreens and loose leaf tea.

Without the Puget Sound and forest trails for hiking.

Without my most cherish and heart harbored friend.

It's been a lengthy, arduous voyage.

"How blessed I am to have something so hard to say goodbye to." said Winnie the Pooh

I once neglected to recognize my abundance of blessings.  Never again.
These are my souvenirs.
And enough is a feast, after all.
The people in this new land, they don't understand what I left behind when I came here. And I have to be okay with that. These are MY souvenirs.

"You feel your heart beat loudest when it's breaking."
I would rather feel my heart beating from brokeness than not feel it beating at all.

I am moved to write this today on account that my closest friend, in this place, just left for his voyage.
Godspeed Kyle.

Just when I think I haven't got another goodbye in me, I find that if I search my hollow harbor deep enough, there is usually one hiding under a tide somewhere.

So today, I can't bring myself to believe that a goodbye is a new beginning on my end, but rather just another saltwater tempest.  I sail on knowing the winds will die down, and the waves will find their peace again.
Today I am gripping the mast to brace myself against the storm, like so many times before.
Goodbyes never get easier. And they shouldn't.
"I know that there's a meaning to it all. A little resurrection every time I fall."
"My hope is anchored on the Other Side."

If Grace Is An Ocean, We're All Sinking

Hello Dear Friends and Family! 

I am so blessed to be able to share my heart and recent events with you. Email and blogs makes it a great era to be a missionary!  

God is good! His grace is as vast as the ocean!

With each passing month, I find myself more and more endeared to this warm land. As I peddle my bike through the city of Siem Reap each day, the frowns and squinting faces used to follow me with curious eyes.  I decided to make the most of it by smiling as big as I can and saying, "Prey Ong protian bpoh!” (God bless you!) as I glide past them.  Frowns turn upside down, and squinty eyes grow wider with joy! Now I thoroughly enjoy my bike ride back and forth. The regulars and familiar faces are almost as eager to greet me as I am to greet them each time.  I pray that the Holy Spirit would go with me and flood these streets and roads with His presence. 

This past month has been so incredible! Each of my students aced their midterms! Yay! :D They are so brilliant and eager to learn the English language.  I have had the opportunity to spend some quality time with a few of my students, going to the markets or just sitting and talking, listening to their stories and praying for them.  All of the teachers put together a HUGE Love Feast. We decorated the class rooms, made dinner, served our students, and some teachers prepared special music numbers. The theme was God's Overwhelming, Unconditional Love. We were all invited to join the Kings table, and glorify Papa by loving one another.  

What an intense evening!  We had 107 boxes of food, and there were 106 students.  Our room was pretty small as well, made for maybe 55 people. We only had about two working fans. But NONE of that seemed to matter! :) As crazy as it was at times, I personally was extremely excited about the whole evening! I was very excited to see how Papa was going to move through the hearts of our students. I was so anxiously excited to serve each student, smile and laugh, pray for and encourage them.  God is moving over here in this small kingdom!  Please continue to pray for our students to remain faithful in coming to class and Wednesday Fellowship!  Pray that God would continue to speak to each student and bring them closer to His heart. 

Pray that the spiritual chains of bondage that are holding these kids back, would be broken by the blood of the Lamb, in the name of Jesus Christ!

My language lessons this past month have been quite frustrating. Sometimes, I feel like I am hitting a wall….. please pray for a breakthrough! 

Here in Cambodia, this whole week is the Water Festival. It’s a time for the people to give thanks for the rice harvest by worshiping the moon and the water. They have huge boat races for the next few days and offer a lot of gifts to the spirits. We don't have school at all this week, mostly because all of our students are gone back to their home villages to be with their families and celebrate traditions.  This is a really strong time of spiritual warfare and we are all praying for the Holy Spirit to be victorious in the hearts of the Khmer people during this time. And that they would come to know and worship the God who created the water and the moon for HIS glory.

Please keep me in your prayers. There have been a few uncomfortable situations with the base leadership this month. There are days when I struggle to forgive.

During my prayer times, Papa spoke to me through His Word. And He gave me clear understanding of how an unforgiving heart will lead to a lot of other things, including a heart of bitterness. He also brought to light MANY times when He had allowed me to dive into His ocean of grace, soaking in His sweet forgiveness.  

I am so thankful that Papa doesn't forgive like I do.  Lacking joy or dare I admit it, not at all. I am so humbled and deeply thankful that when He was staggering through the city of Jerusalem, the sin of the world on His shoulders, that He never once said in His heart, "I wish that this was you instead of me. You deserve this, not me." And that He didn't harbor hateful thoughts towards me for my portion of sin that he was carrying.   I am deeply humbled.  I am forgiven. 

I do not deserve His Grace Gift, but I am not too proud to snatch it out of His hands when He offers it, and devour it in His presence. 

        It reminded me of a time when I was in town about two weeks ago.  A man offered me a gospel track in the city. I looked at it, smiled, and waving my hand over it said, "Thanks but I don't need it. I already know Jesus."  

  I thought I was being polite and helping that man to save paper by giving the track to someone who may not have a Bible already. But actually, when I looked deeper, Papa showed me that situation tied into my arrogant lack of grace.  Why not just encourage that man by accepting the tract and rejoicing together in our shared faith?   

 I will eagerly receive a gospel track next time. If anything, its a great reminder, and then I have it to share with someone else.  

This Is Amazing Grace by Bethel Live

How He Loves by David Crowder

-John 1:16 "Out of his fullness we have all received grace…"

-Ephesians 2:8 "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God."

-Ephesians 3:7 "I became a servant of this gospel by the gift of God’s grace given me through the working of his power."

Please continue to remember me in your prayers! 

Pray that I would stay healthy!

Pray that Papa would bless me with a close friend here! 

Pray that God would continue to help me learn this language!

And please also pray that Gods grace and love would shine bright in this dark place.

I miss all of you so much. Joy, humility, passion and deep euphoria fill my soul when I remember your support and prayers. I thank Papa for you daily!

Stay strong!  Keep up the good flight!

Love Always,

Beth Dittman

Small Beginnings

Greetings Friends and Family from the kingdom of Cambodia:

It has been a month and a half since my arrival and I believe I am nearly adjusted. 

Thank you for your faithful prayers and support! 

I rejoice each day for where I am during this season of my life. It has been so great to be back here, teaching, learning the language, spending time with my old students, and mostly just being a part of God's plan for Cambodia. 

(pics of my arrival)

My body is pretty well adjusted to the heat. Unfortunately, it is having a hard time producing enough blood to keep up with the mosquitos ;) I think my stomach is almost adjusted to Khmer (Cambodian) food. PRAISE THE LORD!! It's been a rough month in that area. I went for my first run the other day!!! Let me tell you, it was only fifteen minutes, but I almost called a moto driver to take me back home. I've never been so flamingly overheated in my life!!! I plan on continuing these running endeavors at least every other day.
Prayers are really appreciated!

The rain comes in bucket loads almost daily, bringing flashes of lighting and booming thunder with it. It’s not like Oregon rain, and I have to remember that I am no longer surrounded by Oregonians.  When it rains here nearly everything stops. People run for cover and wait. My students stay home, and I get weird looks when I throw on a hoodie and march on down the muddy road.

(monsoon on a Sunday)

I just finished my third week of teaching! The past five days have been a little scary, and a tiny bit stressful,but overall very fulfilling and quite an adventure.

I have about 10 students in each class with an age range of 12-22, and all of them are brilliant! My first class is a reading class, and none of my students speak English so giving instructions and explaining things is awesome and VERY tricky! I am praising the Lord for being bigger than language barriers! Ha ha

(These are some pictures of my students studying prefixes during class.)

Already one of my students is asking about God and she is hungry to know more about Him. Sadly, she is too afraid to take a step toward salvation because she knows her family will kick her out of the house. She is only sixteen-years-old.

Please pray for her and God’s plan in her life.

This next weekend is a Khmer holiday called Puchum Ben, and so all of Cambodia is preparing to celebrate. Starting on Saturday everyone will go to their home village and worship their false gods at the pagodas, offering food, money, and prayers. Most of my students will be joining their family for the holiday, and it just makes me pray for them more earnestly! I want them to know the True God actually hears their prayers.
One of my students named Luke (pronounced Luka) is a solid believer in Jesus Christ, and he is bold in sharing his faith.  He invited me to go to a gathering at his church during the pagan holiday. We are going to spend most of the time in prayer for the rest of our class. I praise God for blessing me with my student Luke! Keep him in your prayers.

If you would also pray for our base to receive more staff that would be a HUGE blessing. We are pretty shorthanded around here.

Please pray for me to stay strong and not get too overwhelmed with homesickness.

I miss all of you so much. Joy, humility, passion and deep euphoria fill my soul when I remember your support and prayers. I thank Papa for you daily!

Stay strong!  Keep up the good flight!

Love Always,

Beth Dittman

Good JuJu

20 years ago I was born, but that is beside the point.

Incase you don't know me well, I cook...a lot. This year for my birthday I made Vietnamese Spring Rolls, vegetarian for me, and bbq pork for my family, and fried rice.   Like they hopefully say it in Vietnam, 'Thưởng thức'  


We finished off the evening with my wonderful family all sitting around and watching George of the Jungle, you know, with Brendan Fraser. My Absolute Favorite Movie Ever Made. Period. Hands Down.  

One thing I've come to realize just in the past 20 years is, 

today is an ordinary day. 

The Lord made this day, like the rest of days.  Today 20 years ago, He took a new lump of clay, and slammed it on His pottery wheel. Been sculpting me ever since.   


December 20th is always a good day, but ordinary. 


Thank you all for loving me unconditionally. 
And You up there, Lord, thank you for this day. Thank you for walking with me every step of this road. You are my Co-Pilot. 






Carpe Diem. 

Dear Baby Jesus.....and Charlie Brown....

Soft flames are reaching beside me, toasting my the blanket that is curled around my body.  A smooth creamy caffeinated drink is by my side, smiling as it were.  Oh! Also, my dear friend, the gingerbread house watches as I write about him. I guess Charlie Brown said it best,

"Christmas time is here
Happiness and cheer
Fun for all that children call
Their favorite time of the year

Snowflakes in the air
Carols everywhere
Olden times and ancient rhymes
Of love and dreams to share

Sleigh bells in the air
Beauty everywhere
Yuletide by the fireside
And joyful memories there

Christmas time is here
We'll be drawing near
Oh, that we could always see
Such spirit through the year
Oh, that we could always see
Such spirit through the year..."

This is the only season that I turn on the radio. I do not want to miss out on Christmas music, old and new. 

But besides all of this holiday bliss, something inside me stirs. 

Simplicity maybe? 

                                                                             Gentleness perhaps? 

                                                          Love?

All three I believe. 

What my heart really feels around this time, is the birth announcement of a wee babe. A simple yet courageous and beautiful boy. The Bible doesn't say that Jesus was a beautiful or handsome baby, in fact Isaiah said, "For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, 

      and as a root out of dry ground. 

      He has no form or comeliness; 

      and when we see him, 

      there is no beauty that we should desire him." See. Not beautiful or handsome. A simple baby.

But for me, just him once being here, is a beautiful thought. 

When I was a little girl, every year around December, I could feel Christmas coming. You know what I'm taking about. When you were young, you could really feel Christmas. In your nose, heart, in the very depth of your bones you could feel it. Christmas has these funny sweet smells, tastes and joyous sounds and captivating sights that make you want to smile and laugh all the time, just out of pure jolliness. (new word) 

At about age 12, I could start to feel a difference. Christmas was getting harder to feel.   

Then, one December, it happened..... when I was 14, I glumly told my aunt , "It's really really hard for me to feel Christmas this year." Her "encouraging" response was,  "Yep, that's right kiddo. And it will only get worse." 

Honestly, I wanted to cry. Christmas is the best feeling ever, how could I go the rest of my life without it?

Well, here I am, almost 20 and that old Christmas feeling is completely gone. Or is it? 

That old feeling has been replaced. Replaced with wonderful new feelings. 

Gentleness,

                                                                 Simplicity.....

                                                                  and Love.

My new Christmas feelings come when I think of a little dark skinned baby boy. So gentle. So simple. So much love wrapped into one little baby bundle. These feelings come rushing inside me like a warm cup of hot coco .  I just wish sometimes that I could have been there that night. I just wish that I could have held him in my arms on that night the angels sang from the heavens.  To hold Jesus in my arms...wow... :)  I am just so in love with him.

 He is my Beloved, and I am His. 

(but that is for another Blog Time With Beth.) 

When I really think about it, I enjoy this new Christmas feel much more. It's not based on smells and tastes and sounds and sights that come along with a season.  It is eternal, and it's much stronger than my childhood feelings.  I can still feel Christmas with Gentleness, Simplicity, Love, and the occasional Charlie Brown Christmas carol. 

So, I guess Charlie Brown did sing it right, "Hark the herald angels sing

"Glory to the newborn King!
Peace on earth and mercy mild
God and sinners reconciled"
Joyful, all ye nations rise
Join the triumph of the skies
With the angelic host proclaim:
"Christ is born in Bethlehem"
Hark! The herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!"

Christ by highest heav'n adored
Christ the everlasting Lord!
Late in time behold Him come
Offspring of a Virgin's womb
Veiled in flesh the Godhead see
Hail the incarnate Deity
Pleased as man with man to dwell
Jesus, our Emmanuel
Hark! The herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!"

Hail the heav'n-born Prince of Peace!
Hail the Son of Righteousness!
Light and life to all He brings
Ris'n with healing in His wings
Mild He lays His glory by
Born that man no more may die
Born to raise the sons of earth
Born to give them second birth
Hark! The herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!"

Feasting On This Mana. One Day At A Time.

One day at a time....


Because the Israelites ignored God, and listened to their own fear, they were kept in the desert. Trapped there to just survive. And God provided for them, every day. Even though they turned their backs on Him over, and over, and over, for the whole 40 years that they were there. 


Manna..... is a sweet bread of sorts.  It's the food that God dropped from the sky, every day for the Israelites to eat during their time in the dry heat and sand. He faithfully let it(manna) rain from the sky daily. 
Like worry warts though, the Israelites would gather as much manna as they could hold, to keep for the days to come. You see, they worried that God might not give them food for the next days. Such little faith in the One who just rescued them from Egypt....
But over and over again, God shows us just how faithful He is. 


What would it look like if we just ate the manna God gave us today? 
How hard would it be to leave that other manna on the ground, and just know that God will make more fall tomorrow? We don't even need to worry about it.


Ha....worry..... is something I want to live without.  I'm working on it.


Fear....
                  ........... is the opposite of Faith.  
Did you know that my spiritual gift is Faith? Yep, this is truth. So then why do I fear? 


Because I am a sheep. 
Because I sometimes struggle with the knowledge that I am no longer holding the yolk to this plane. 
Because, the enemy knows that fear will wear and tear on my spiritual gift, faith. 

   

These things alone, are needing to be remembered in my life:

God is my Shepherd.

God is my Co-Pilot.

God is so much bigger than my fears.

            God gave me enough manna for today.

That is enough.....                                          

   God is faithful, all the time. He proves it to me daily. Maybe I don't know what tomorrow holds.... but hey :) If I already knew, then where would faith hold its place in my life? 


I know, without a doubt, that We Were Made To Be Fearless. God designed us to be fearless. 


Adam and Eve were fearless for a time.  


                                                               


                     I can feel it in my bones.
                                                              Fearless.
 How can I go on from here? To become fearless starts where? 
                                                        


Well, I can start by raising my eyes to the heavens, and watching manna fall right into today's basket, that is enough...


.......I know that fearless is on my horizon.....

Just watch for that sunrise....